zhipeng's blog

-= feeling down =-

2007-02-25T16:13:00.000+08:00

after meeting that lady, i think i found my hope of my life. but after some time, i feel that was gone. alway wanting to go out with her, but alway never happen execpt for 2 occasions.

hearing that, she was going to celebrate my birthday with me, i was so happy. but everything was gone as her friend's birthday same as mine. being a nice guy, dun make her a sandwich between her friend, i let her go celebrate that day with her friend along with an agreement she give me a call. me at home sleeping. waiting till 2am for the call, she never called... heart- broken, and went to sleep.

my hope of my life, i think is gone... back to the life after 6 oct 2005... hopeless and lonely... alway seeing me smile but in fact, i was lonely. hoping for a heart to accpet me. office in the weekend give me a hiding place from the outside world.

will she read it? i dun think so...

-= my PSP =-

2006-06-17T21:22:00.000+08:00

finally, i bought a psp for myself to pass my time when alone. it cost me a bomb. for the next few week, i mus eat less and go out less. hehe...

-= my weekend =-

2006-06-11T16:51:00.000+08:00

basically, this weekend, i did nothing but to go out alone to look for price for my new company mess. past few days, i was very depressed and down, and now
i am thinking to buy a psp to keep me accompany. but the price is too expensive.

now, still thinking...

-= my wished PSP =-

2006-06-10T18:08:00.000+08:00

Now, i finally got an aim, to get myself a PSP cost about $510. i wish to get 1 for myself. so that i can play with it when i am alone at home or to relax myself from work. now in a dilema, whether wan to buy or not, $510 not consider cheap and yet no expensive. jus dun bear to spend so much money on it.

whether wan to get a PSP or not???

-= my life =-

2006-06-08T21:49:00.000+08:00

My life had changed since 9th of oct 2005, my life had lost all the hope and aim. i had nothing to look forward.

i used to be very happy, very joyful and very naughty,as to make fun of my friends.
till that thing happen, i try very hard to forget, but when seeing couples, i feel lonely and depress. how i wish i got ppl to care for me again and love me again.

now i willing to give up all my money and go back to the life, where got ppl love me or ppl care for me. money can't buy that back. what for i need so much money.

i am so lonely, so lonely.

-= MYSELF =-

2006-05-26T20:55:00.000+08:00

My name is Huang zhipeng, who was born on 3rd February 1983, at KK Hospital. I was the elder son in my family. I have two younger brothers, who are studying in the polytechnic and secondary school. My father is a self-employed, who run a motorcycle repair company. My mother is a baby-sitter.

When I was very young, I am lived in a kampong village in Jalan Ulu Sembawang, which is a SAF training ground now. That time, my grandfather owned a fruit plantation. My life at that time was very fun, unlimited space for me to run around. I could remember I could climb up a very low fruit tree pick the freshest fruit. Too bad, the fun ended very fast. We were forced to move out of the village as the government want to use the land as a training ground for military training.

We moved to our present location, a housing estate in Woodlands. At the same time, I started our first education in the PAP kindergarten with my cousin. During this time, I thought studying is very boring, so most of my time, I try not to go to school. But, in the end, I was forced to go to school for two years.

Eventually, I went up to Fuchun Primary School, which was my own primary school I attended. At this time, I still felt that studying is not fun. But in primary four, we had to go a process of streaming, which separated us into three different paths. This made me realised the studying is very important. Eventually, this made me wan to study more to go to a better class. In the end, I ended in EM 2. Unfortunely, I ended my primary school study in year 1996 with very poor result, which landed me in Normal (A) stream.

I was posted to Fuchun Secondary School, but with my result in the PSLE, I landed in one of the Best class. At that time, studying seemed to be very fun. I got a chance to do what I like to do, the design and technology and principles of account. During my life in Fuchun secondary, I was chosen to be the student councillor of my class since sec 1, at the same time, my senior councillor like my working attitude and eventually pull me to the school councillor board to serve the school instead of class, giving me a position of a assistant treasurer. At the end of my 3 years of a student councillor, my DM selected me to go for the election for the president of the board but I lost, and was pull to the post of vice president. And I took up some CCA that I liked.

Since young, I got a dream to join the Singapore Police Force to fight crime for Singapore. This made me join the National Police Cadet Crops (NPCC), which was co-organised by MOE and MHA. In this CCA, I learn a lot. Currently, I still am serving them as a Cadet inspector (CI).

At the year 2001, I join Nanyang Polytechnics to purse my tertiary study, Diploma in Engineering Informatics (EI), specialised in Engineering Software Development (ESDN). That make me good in programming code, and can able to do some program.

During end of the course, I had applied for the position of a junior police officer in the Singapore Police Force. Eventually, they drag my application too long for almost 8 months for my last interview. I was rejected, as my enlistment date was very near.

That is why I land in the army. On the 19th of Aug 2004, I step onto the island when they called it hell and heaven. I was put into the home of viper, V Company, for my PTP/ BMT, because I failed my chin-up. But 3 month of tough trainings, I was able to pass and obtain silver for my IPPT and post to SISPEC Alpha for Basic Section Leader Course (BSLC). But during these 9 months in army, I had learned a lot of thing that police cannot experience. This makes me want to join the SAF as a Signal Specs.

-= friendship =-

2006-05-14T17:17:00.000+08:00

Friendship is a gift that is fair in all things.
It roots from one's heart and involves memories
that stay not for a while but for a lifetime.

Care is the main ingredient
that keeps true friendships alive
despite separation, distance and time.
Care sustains love.
Since I can't see you,
let my care be with you, friend!

-= My Photo =-

2006-05-14T09:27:00.000+08:00

i had post up my photo since young. hope u all enjoy it.
happy viewing. pls leave some note on my tags

thanks

-= my first oversea training =-

2006-04-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

tml night, i will be leaving for taiwan. now, i bear to leave my house for a mth. going to miss here a lot.

-= Ching Ming Festival =-

2006-04-02T20:33:00.000+08:00

Yesterday morning, my brother and i , together with my uncle, driving up to kluang while our great-grandmoither was buried. it take us !.5 hrs to reach my granduncle's house.

Since we reach there early, we take the time out to walk around the area to shop. i bought a very big bag for my taiwan training as my current bag is very small. and we went to the night market in the night fall, not like our night market in singapore.

the next day morning, we wake up very early in the morning to the cementry. luckily there is no jam this year, maybe we went there too early. it dun take me a long time to locate my great-grandma's tomb as i had been there all most every years.

same as every year, after burning all the offering, we will alway light up the fire cracker, this year it 's special. i light up my own. hehe... first time light-up. after i light up, i stand there seeingall the cracker burning and cracking. hehe... they all seen like very scared of fire-cracker.

-= a very busy week =-

2006-03-19T16:03:00.000+08:00

Last 6 days were a very busy day, everyday was so stress to sleep. mostly every day was training and packing for taiwan. And lastly, planning for our test on satursday. we had to finish our task in 1 hrs and 45 mins. this need a lot of planning and teamwork.

this few days, at night was all lonely in the room. doing nothing but watching tv. alway wish to speak to people that are not in army. as they think we earn so much so must work triple hard. and scolding must be triple too this mth is very difficult to find ppl to chat with. now dun wish to disturb ppl too much.

this coming week got a lot of work to do, sianz... now really hope that i got ppl to chat with and cheer me up when i got scolding.

-= My saturday =-

2006-03-12T11:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i was asked by my brother to go to his secondary to collect his report. the principal talked a lot. and the teacher talk to me like i dun know what is a poly life.

After that, i went to cwp as bk say she accompany me to a movie named "Big Momma's House 2". was a funny show, but i dun luagh but jus to entertained.

Last night nearly midnight, shiyun called to ask me for help, instruction to come back home from AYE as she lost her way. Luckily, i can still help her with the direction.

ok, next week i may not going back home as he want to stay in camp to finish up my work bef the test.

-= right here waiting =-

2006-03-12T11:48:00.000+08:00

I am here waiting
Waiting and yearning for you.
I am here waiting
Waiting for the light in your eyes
To shine like a newborn star
That will shine on forever.
I am here waiting
Waiting for your love
To finally find me.
I am here waiting
It seems like forever,
Endlessly hoping
That my dreams will survive,
For just one more day,
One more day I’ll spend dreaming,
Endlessly dreaming,
Endlessly dreaming and waiting…
Waiting for you.

-= 我还能爱谁 =-

2006-03-10T21:11:00.000+08:00

睡梦中的人不了解我的累
我也不原谅你的美
它让我体会
这个世界真的有十全十美
却无所谓后悔
*会妥协的人不明白我自卑
就像我不容许我气馁
我真的以为要感动最完美的玫瑰
如果要奉献我眼泪
除了你谁都不能给
见过你的美我还能爱谁
我一路的追意冷却不心灰
我的世界走不出你背影的范围
没有你会面目全非 *
repeat *
我还能爱谁
放弃其它玫瑰
这是一种愚蠢的智慧
困在只有你的堡垒
享受讨好你的滋味
见过你的美我还能爱谁
我一路的追意冷却不心灰
我的世界走不出你背影的范围
没有你会面目全非
没有你我还能爱谁

-= empty life =-

2006-03-05T10:30:00.000+08:00

Why i feel so lonely and feel empty in my heart?

alway like to feel thing to do to fill up my days.
till now feeling very stress in work and life.
where is the happiness for me?

still waiting...

seeing people very happy, kind of dun feel the happiness for them.
am i heartless? or jus dun feel that?

wat make my life full of happiness again?
and who will support me to the end?

tml will be a very tough day for me again.
hope i can pull it through the toughest time again.

-= A very busy week =-

2006-03-04T20:59:00.000+08:00

Last few week was a very busy week, busy preparing for oversea training and busy moving over to our new bunk. currently they locate me in a 3 men bunk and my bunk mate are all staying out, so at night left me alone in bunk watching tv. sianz...

today, i went out with siang, bk and ying to reptile park, seeing snake and crocodile. wat so scared about them. kiang ask me to drive them there as he not sure the way there. then after that, we went to farmart, qian hu and nippon koi.

that's end my day.

to a person outside, i miss u.

-= Eternity =-

2006-02-19T15:50:00.000+08:00

I smile whenever I recall
The special moments we have had;
Walking always hand in hand
Through the good times and the bad.

Sometimes, I think it is a dream --
The love you give me could not be;
But then when you are in my arms
There's no mistake in its purity.

Whether I'm with you or far away,
My thoughts are always drawn to you
Like a compass needle pointing North
To a love much more than true.

Of all the people on this Earth --
How lucky can a person be;
To have found the likes of you, my love,
With whom to share eternity!

-= A old classmate gathering =-

2006-02-19T15:27:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i went to my safra club in the morning to play some bowling with my bowling ball. Meeting eric, samuel and his girlfriend. Samuel can bowl very well and eric just start to pick up.
After which, we went to samuel's house to learn on swimming on the table "mahjong". I started winning a lot but in the end, lose.
At about 6, i forget i get a gathering for all my old classmate at seoul's garden organised by yifeng. most of the girl are getting more pretty. but for the guy, i found them normal, cos i meet them often. HEHE...
After the dinner, this the most headache part, as bee keow want to take some photo, but she can't decide which place to go to. make her want to throw my bowling ball at her. haha...

-= Valentine Day =-

2006-02-12T10:44:00.000+08:00

People say valentine day is for couple, then how about the non-couple.
People say valentine day is the most romantics day, then how a lonely person feel?
Sad? Happy? Lonely?

i don't know how i will feel. To me, it is jus a normal day to work.

How i know i was not alone?

-= birthday=-

2006-02-04T08:36:00.000+08:00

on 030206, it was my 23th birthday. WoW... me so old already ah. Every year, nobody will remember my birthday in my family and bad thing will happen on that day.

this year 2006 was special. my mother remember my birthday and cook noodle before i go out and meeting my special friend, a friend that is special to me, not other friend, friend i look to when in doubt, sad and joy. Hehe... my zhi ji...

I supposely i met her at 3pm yesterday, but she pushed it early as she had something on at 6pm. We went sakae sushi at Marina south, a very special restaurant. Hehe... i will alway remember the resraurant there. Today, i ask her to order food for me, hehe. She order a big bowl of soup, cos she alway want to try it. Hehe... and the side dish she order was my favourite food. Hehe... how she know...

In order to thank her for accompany me and dun work on that day, i bought her a cute small teddy bear and a box of chocolate from france. Hope she will like it. Seeing her eat and smile, i was so happy. then she pass me my present and asking me to open at home, but me open on the train. sorry...

thanks, girl... i really like ur present. thanks...

lastly, this year, i dun wan to have any wish. i jus wan to be happy.

yunhui, u r really my friend who i can share my sadness and joy with u. thanks...
i will bring joy to u, when i got a good news.
hehe... thanks u, yunhui

happy birthday to me.

-= LOVE =-

2006-01-30T21:40:00.000+08:00

If you're afraid to love a person because offriendship,
you have two choices: either tell what
you feel and let the love take place or hide the
feeling under a friendship full of pretensions.
It's hard for two people to love each other when
they live in two different worlds but when these
two worlds collide and become one, that's what
you
call magic!
Love can never be so beautiful without friendship.
One leads to another and the process isirreversible.
The best of lovers is the greatestof friends!
I like you because you're my friend, and because
you are my friend I care, and because I care, I love you.
I don't love you because you are my friend,
I love you because I do!
Sometimes I've asked myself, what would make me happy?
To think that I have everything else, I get what I want.
Then I realized it was YOU, too bad
'cause it's you i can't have.
I can't choose who I'm gonna love,
but I also can't love who chooses to love me.
And you can't blame me in choosing to love you as
much as I can't blame you for not learning to loveme.
I'm sorry if you can't love me the way you
loved the one before me, so I'll let you go find
him/her and hope someday you'll see that the one
true love you're looking for was the one who set you free.
"How can I say goodbye to someone I never had?
Why do tears fall for someone who was nevermine?
Why is that I miss someone I was never with and
I askwhy I love someone who's love was never mine?"
Isn't it funny we're trying to catch the attention
of the one we think we love; we hardly notice the
one we're really looking for was just there. You
don't notice them 'till they are in the arms of
someone else.Food for thought, think of this:
Have you really cared for someone more than you expected?
Have you ever tried to love him/her despite of all the pain?
Will you keep on loving him/her as he/she whispers
someone else's name?Will you?It's better to lose your pride with someone you
love rather than lose that someone you love with
your useless pride. When you love someone, don't
expect that person to love you back the same amount.
One of you will be head, the other behind.
It's either you catch up or the other waits.
When you love, you must not accept anything in return,
for if you do, you're not loving butInvesting.
If you love, you must prepare to accept pain, for
if you expect happiness, you're not loving but using.
True love hears what is not spoken,
and understands what is not explained, for love
doesn't work in the mouth, nor the mind, but in the heart...
Love is like standing on wet cement,
the longer you stay the harder it is to leave
and you can never go without leaving your prints behind.
Don't love a person like a flower, because aflower die sin season.
Love them like a river because a river flowsforever.
Love doesn't have to have a happy ending,
'cause love doesn't have to end at all.
Never be afraid to fall in love.
It may hurt alot, it may give you aches and pains,
but if youdon't follow your heart,
in the end you will cry even more for not giving love a chance.
Love may leave your heart like shattered glass,
but keep in mind that there's someone
who'll be willing to endure the pain of picking up the pieces
so you could be whole again.
The cruelest thing a guy could do to a girl
is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to
catch her fall!
And fooling around with her
feelings like they meant nothing.
(This goes forgals as well).

-= nice article =-

2006-01-22T14:39:00.000+08:00

Some days you seem so close
like you stand right before me
But then the next day you seem so far
like each other we can't see,
Each day is like a roller coaster
with my stomach turning upside down
You stand there looking
but yet you don't utter a sound,
I feel so confused
and my heart is being torn at its seams
And every night that I sleep
you seem to linger in my dreams,
Every time I look at you
I forget all my thoughts
And right then and there
it's you that my heart has sought,
Every time I hope
it turns into something bad
So for right now I'll stop thinking
And maybe things won't end up sad.

this is copy from a blog

yesterday, i was disturb by my buddies and jing. u know what they do? This is a very nice durian. that is a scared zhipeng. durian so nice, yet zhipeng so far and run away.
haha
feeling like taking the shell and throw at them. haha

i like this picture a lot

my day work in this week

2006-01-19T15:07:00.000+08:00

On the 170106 tuesday, i was busy doing my work and preparing teaching aids for my PC to conduct a lesson for the new coming officer. I was happy for a while, as my PC praised me in front of the platoon for doing the good work for taking care of the platoon when he not around in camp for a very long time. then the rest of the day, i was doing nothing but doing my revision for my test. Till i received a call from my CSM saying that why my platoon is not deploying the execrise. i was so shocked as nobody told me about the execrise. This is a good time to test on my platoon skill. They all are well trained and meet the timing required. During the night, we were asked to take shift to manage the phone and maintance. i never sleep the whole night and quietly aside looking at my phone. Is it i am waiting for my phone to ring?

The next day, i wake up with a few hour of rest. Thinking that have the girl wake up, have she gone to school. i jus was about she send her this sms, she already sms me. if this mean that our mind are linked. but hearing that, she is not feeling very well. I wanted to give her a call. but i was busy explaining to my new sgt about the stucture of my work. But after that, i give her a call. Hearing her very sick and low voice, i feel a heart in my pain. i dun know why i got this feeling, i hoped that i go out and bring her to a doctor. But i can't, only can sms her to take good care of herself. That afternoon, i walk in the rain to the comandpost to do my routine check on the phone. Too bad my shirt is wet and i walk in the air-con room after that, i fall sick during the night, having a terrible head-ache. i wanted to bath but after the rain, the water from the shower was cold, no choice have to bear with it.

today 190106, i took a half- day off home to rest and at the same time study for my AKTP test. but at home, i was equally busy as my handphone rinding non-stop as they had just cut the execrise.

Tomorrow is my test, hope that u will wish me good luck for it.
i here also hope that u will be a happy girl as i first meet u and ur sick recover faster.

A long weekend

2006-01-15T16:00:00.000+08:00

For the past few day in camp, i was busy with my work in the office. Busy doing my admin work. hardly have time in bunk to relax. Till night fall, i will sit in front to the tv watching one of my favourite DVD serial "Chinese Paladin" at the same time, waiting for something. During this two night, it was a very peaceful night, as Alex, the noise king is not around. Finally, it's friday, my book out day. I was so happy, i can go to do my own thing already, free from my work.

On the 14th of Jan, i went for my faical treatment in my life. it was a very wonderful experience. People say that it was very painful, when the consulant start to remove all the pimple and blackhead from our skin. But too me, i never feel the great pain from it. But there is still pain but not really a pain, feel jus like a bite. but it was a very enjoyable experience. During the night, i try to complete my project "yanki hotel". Finally, i complete in time.

Today, a sunday. Once i wake up, i busily drive my grandpa to various place to pray, as he wanted to thank the god for his protection for our family. But once, i reach home, i saw 2 cute babies waiting at the door for me. hehe... Same old thing... they want me to carry them. i don't know why i feel like going back camp now. Is it to watch the serial, or other thing else.

ok time to go...
To hui, You must take good care of your body well, dun fall sick, ok?

bye

a boring sunday

2006-01-01T19:06:00.000+08:00

Today is a sunday. Normally, i will follow my parent to the market to help my uncle and grandaunt with their fruit stall and meat stall, but today i never i don't know why i just don't want to wake up. Finally, i wake up at 800am, because my ma ask me to buy breakfast for zhi xiang, as he need to work today.

The happy moment come, my cute cute baby cousin is here. First thing he do is that he will look for me as, i normally will carry him around my house and into my room to play with him. After which, he will slowly walk to look for my grandparent. the way he walk was very cute. not long later, my parent came back, this baby cousin of mine will follow my ma and pa around, as they normally will buy food for him.

Same as normal day, today i was assigned to be the driver today, as my brother was working and my pa is not feeling well. When i was driving today, i can't focus on my driving, tried looking at my phone, as if i was hoping for something.

nitez... my parent is calling me to send them out to buy thing.